Stay Happy and Avoid Arguments

Stay Happy and Avoid Arguments 

The last thing any of us should want to do is argue or disagree with the person we have chosen to spend our life with and love more than anything. Problem is we do sometimes disagree on things and we sometimes raise our voice in opposition. What we must be cautious of is the way we voice our disagreement or opposition. We can stay happy and avoid arguments.

When we argue however we are often saying to them, feel like me, think the way I do, have the same opinion as I have. Hence, this is why so many arguments occur at family dinners relating to politics and religion. We all have our own personal opinion; none of us are wrong, as they are our opinions, so therefore they and we are absolutely correct – for each of us.

Do we really want to be married to another person exactly like us? I do not know many people who would want to be with a person just the same as them. We need someone to complement us, someone a bit different to fill that part of our personality that we may not have.

Communication

Learning to communicate, accept differences in each other and listening to our partner, all make for a smoother, less conflictual and happy relationship. If when engaged, these matters feel like an issue, may I strongly suggest having them dealt with instead of carrying them into your marriage; as problems usually escalate over the years?

Patience, tolerance, understanding and acceptance without judgment are a wonderful basis for any and all relationships. We can all work towards this goal to create a happy and fulfilled life. Accept our partner as the beautiful, intelligent and caring person we believe them to be. Accept they may have a difference of opinion to us on certain things and that is fine. Make sure you can both discuss any differences calmly and logically to understand the other person’s perspective and then perhaps make some adjustments so you both are more accepting.

It is also important to remember that no-one else has your relationship. No other person really knows what you feel, how you think or what your relationship is like, let alone really knowing what your partner is like to talk to or live with. The two of you are the only ones that really understand this and each other, and while family and friends can be a great help to bounce a concern or issue off, they are not best placed to help with our personal problems.

This is where it is great for all couples to learn how to communicate. Yes we can all talk and listen however we are not always taught to really hear what is being said and the reason why it may be said. We are not taught to understand from our partner’s perspective. Their family upbringing may be considerably different to ours and it is our upbringing where we learn our behaviors, processing and tolerances.

No Need to Ever Fight

It is never acceptable to insult, demean or hurt your partner. If you feel you have a problem, then please obtain some help, guidance or counselling to find better ways to communicate. Constant arguing will bring your relationship undone. Behave like the mature, intelligent person you are and this means learning a degree of self-control.

Unfortunately some of us human beings missed this lesson along the way however it is never too late to step up and learn. If you want a good long-term relationship, this is vital to learn as a partner and also as a future parent. Imagine the role modeling you would set for your child if they watched and listened to the bad ‘out of control’ parent behaviour.

Accept we all have different personality traits and it is essential we accept our partner for who they are and never try to change them. Our personalities and traits are embedded into us by our family of origin and changing these traits are almost impossible. Certainly some behaviours can be adjusted if we feel we need to but not because another wants us to.

Love the One You are With      www.beforewegetmarried.com

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Karen Phillip